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10 Steps to Deal
With the Loss of your Pet |
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Sometimes special animals come
into our lives and touch our hearts in a way that leaves
us forever changed. A chapter ends as the familiar road
you travelled together comes to an abrupt and. You are
in uncharted territory without a map. Lost. The world
as you know it may look totally different.
Not everyone realizes that the bond between humans and
their pets can be deeper than with a loved human. Some
people often spend more time with their pets than they
do with family members. Pets don't judge or hurt us
the way humans can. The loss of their constant, unconditional
love can leave us empty.
There is no best way to get through the loss of a beloved
pet. The way through the grief process is different
for everyone. Here are some things I found helpful when
I lost Maggie, my beautiful black lab with whom I had
the most precious of relationships:
- Hold a ritual after your pet dies and invite friends
and family who knew and loved your pet. Share stories
about how your beloved animal enriched your life and
other lives she touched. You may also want to create
a memorial altar with a candle and your pets' photo,
along with other items that belong to or remind you
of your pet, such as her dish, special toys, and a
lock of her hair.
- Recognize that the grief of pet loss can be exceptionally
profound and honor that by giving your grief the space
to be. Allow your tears. Set-aside quiet time each
day where you can decrease the demands of the outside
world. Write in your journal. Allow your pain to express
and release.
- Let in the compassion and understanding of supportive
family friends and strangers.
- Don't be surprised if some family members or friends
are not as supportive as you might expect them to
be. Allow yourself to take time off from friends who
don't understand the depth of your grief, who try
to downplay your loss because it's an animal rather
than a human, or who have unrealistic expectations
of you at this very vulnerable time.
- Let people know if you need to talk about your lost
pet. Many well-intended people may try to change the
subject to make it easier on you and you may need
to let them know that it's okay to talk about it.
- Find a pet loss support group locally or online
and make use of the national pet loss support hotlines.
- Nurture yourself. Get a massage. Take walks that
nature. Meditate. Have lunch with a supportive friend.
Do what feeds your soul.
- Know yourself well enough to know if getting a new
pet at this time will help or hinder our grief process.
Some people do fine jumping right in with a new dog
or cat. Others may resent having a new animal in the
house too quickly.
- Help animals at your local humane society or get
involved with the many breed rescue groups in your
area. It may help ease your pain if you allow your
love from your lost animal to become part of a bigger
purpose, such as assisting and caring for homeless
animals.
- Try new things to discover more of yourself; those
creative endeavors you have often considered but have
never tried.
We all have to face grief and loss eventually. It's one
of the great equalizers in life. Allow your pet's death
to ripple the foundation of who you are, as death often
does. When we experienced loss, it may be a good time
to let go of what no longer fits in your life; what isn't
you. In my case, after I lost Maggie, I changed both personally
and professionally. I hope my steps on the road from loss
to healing can now benefit you in your time of loss. As
devastating as the loss of our beloved animals can be,
this time can also be an excellent opportunity to examine
our purpose in life and find new meaning.
 ©
By Dawn Kairns
www.maggiethedogwhochangedmylife.blogspot.com
www.dawnkairns.com
Author of MAGGIE: the dog who changed
my life: A Story of Love
*Nominated for the Merial Human-Animal Bond Award by
the Dog Writer's Association of America*
Author Bio
A family nurse practitioner turned writer, Dawn Kairns
has also published in nursing journals, American Fitness
magazine, The Daily Camera, and Real Travel Adventures
Magazine. A lifelong animal lover, her passion for dogs
led her to volunteer with the Humane Society of Boulder
Valley, Front Range Labrador Rescue, and Freedom Service
Dogs. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Dawn volunteered
with the Humane Society of the United States in Mississippi,
assisting the displaced Katrina dogs. Her own dog and
cat are rescues.
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